


Beverly Marsh and Richie Tozier Being Platonic Soulmates For * Minutes Straight

by Rosalee_Kenneth



Series: The Losers Being Dumbasses for * Fics Straight [5]
Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Beverly Marsh & Richie Tozier Are Best Friends, Bill Hader Hate, Drunken Shenanigans, Even Though He Is Quite Pissed, F/M, Famous Beverly Marsh, Famous Bill Denbrough, Famous Richie Tozier, Fluff, Friendship goals, Gen, Interviews, M/M, Not from me, Platonic Female/Male Relationships, Platonic Relationships, Platonic Soulmates, Stan Is Having A Field Day, Swearing, The Losers Hate Bill Hader, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Twitter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-06
Updated: 2020-03-06
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:20:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23041621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rosalee_Kenneth/pseuds/Rosalee_Kenneth
Summary: [Richie and Beverly are in Richie’s kitchen eating celery sticks with frosting]Richie: …we may be utter dumbasses, but at least we’re dumbasses together.
Relationships: Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Beverly Marsh & Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Series: The Losers Being Dumbasses for * Fics Straight [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1611139
Comments: 30
Kudos: 314





	Beverly Marsh and Richie Tozier Being Platonic Soulmates For * Minutes Straight

**Author's Note:**

> I lowkey love this fic for all the reasons that is Bev and Rich being crackheads for * minutes straight

**Beverly Marsh and Richie Tozier Being** **Platonic Soulmates For * Minutes Straight**

**5.2M views**

[The Losers take the Which Loser Are You quiz on BuzzFeed Celeb]

 **Beverly** : Oh! I got you, Rich.

 **Richie** : That’s hilarious cause I got you, too.

 **Eddie** : Yeah, no shit. You two are literally the same person.

 **Beverly** : It says that like Richie I’m optimistic, carefree, funny, and a messy bitch. The about sums me up.

 **Richie** : Mine says that like Beverly I’m caring, feisty, independent, and an overcomer of fears and doubts. That about sums me up as well.

 **Beverly** : Overcomer of fears my ass—just yesterday you asked me to take out your pizza bagels from the oven because you were scared of burning yourself.

 **Richie** : That oven was 425 degrees, Bev!

 **Eddie** : [mouths to the camera] The same person.

***

[The Losers Take a Lie Detector Test]

[Beverly is the one being lie detected]

 **Mike** : Beverly, do you have a favorite Loser?

 **Beverly** : No.

 **Lie** **Detector** **Guy** : She’s lying.

 **Ben** : Am I your fav—

 **Stan** : Let me save you some time here, Ben. Is Richie your favorite Loser?

 **Beverly** : [blushes] No…

 **Lie** **Detector** **Guy** : She’s lying.

***

[Beverly Rates Celebrities’ Famous Outfits on Vanity Fair]

[a picture of Richie in a Hawaiian shirt under a leather jacket paired with leather pants and Doc Martens shows up]

 **Beverly** : Ah yes, that photo that left everyone wondering if Richie was a depressed teenage lesbian. It’s an abomination of the highest degree if I’m being honest, but somehow Richie is sort of pulling it off so that’s a solid 8/10 for me.

***

[Richie and Beverly on The Ellen Show]

 **Ellen** : Do you guys know that you were together in the book?

 **Beverly** : No, we didn’t. We didn’t actually read the book because that thing is like 1000 pages, but when the movie premiere happened and Bill asked us to go, we had to say yes.

 **Richie** : Yeah, so here we are, me and Bev, in this movie theater watching a movie of a book we never read, and then all of a sudden, Bailey, Ronnie, and Will are just having this threesome in the middle of a fucking sewer.

 **Beverly** : And at this point we don’t know what’s happening. We weren’t gonna ask Bill what the fuck was going on, so we turned to Stan and we were like ‘Why are our characters having a threesome’ and he says that we’re a couple and some rude comments about us not reading the book, but [unintelligible noises].

 **Richie** : Anyway, we Wikipedia’d the plot to Sewers and turns out Will, Bailey, and Ronnie are a couple who just have sex in the middle of sewers.

 **Beverly** : I don’t know what psychological fantasy Bill was projecting when he wrote that, nor do I want to know.

 **Ellen** : [laughs] Does he know that you guys still haven’t read his book?

 **Richie** : No, but he will when he sees this interview.

[Richie waves to the camera]

 **Richie** : Hey, Billiam. Sorry we didn’t read the book—turns out we missed out on some hot polyamorous action.

 **Beverly** : I feel dirty.

 **Richie** : Not as dirty as when we were fu—

***

[Ben, Eddie, Mike, and Stan on their podcast ‘Not Famous’]

 **Ben** : This question is from Nadia Belandra who asked, ‘Is it weird for Eddie and Ben to see Beverly and Richie act so couple-y with one another?’.

 **Eddie** : Um…no, not really. We actually get asked this question a lot, but uh…no we don’t get jealous of Bev and Richie’s relationship because one—they’re both loyal to their partners and two—Richie’s really fucking gay.

 **Ben** : Yeah, Bev and Rich are just really close and it’s kinda a given since growing up they were the ones that always had each other’s back.

 **Eddie** : Beverly was the first person Richie ever came out to. He was also always there for her when she ran into issues with her dad. As close as we all were as The Losers growing up, it was always Bev and Rich who had that bond. Some would say it’s a brother/sister bond, but it’s more than that. To me, Bev and Richie’s bond goes beyond familial or platonic or even romantic—it’s just these two people who have the highest love and understanding for each other.

 **Ben** : Just as I consider Bev my soulmate, and you consider Richie your soulmate—those two probably consider each other as their soulmate. Soulmates doesn’t have to be a romantic thing—it’s just what you call the person that who would go to hell and back for and then again.

 **Stan** : That was as real as our podcast is ever going to get.

 **Mike** : That’s a lie, but alright.

***

[Mike’s Instagram Story]

[Richie and Beverly are watching/singing to Mamma Mia: Singalong Version]

 **Richie** : [singing] Yes, I've been brokenhearted.

 **Beverly** : [singing] Blue since the day we parted.

 **Richie** : [singing] Why, why did I ever let you go?

 **Beverly** **and** **Richie** : [singing] Mamma mia, now I really know. My my, I could never let you go.

***

> **Eddie Kaspbarak @dontcallme_eds**
> 
> @bevvyboop and @trashmouthtozier are both sick and currently lying in @stanthemanuris ‘s bed hacked up on several cough medicines while also reading Sewers and it’s honestly a giant fucking mess
> 
> *a picture of Beverly sipping Nyquil through a straw while leaning on Richie’s shoulder while he’s reading Sewers on a bed surrounded by books on accounting is linked*

> **Beverly Marsh** **✔** **@bevvyboop**
> 
> _replying to @dontcallme_eds_
> 
> Bro, I think these characters are actually us. Bill ain’t slick.

***

[Beverly’s Instagram Livestream with Richie]

[Beverly is sitting on Richie’s counter while Richie makes them both spaghetti]

 **Beverly** : I had to teach Richie about female orgasming the other day

 **Richie** : It was like Sex Ed all over again.

 **Beverly** : Yeah, except this time around you didn’t deepthroat the bananas you were supposed to put condoms on.

 **Richie** : Sex Ed did nothing but tap into my inner homosexuality.

 **Beverly** : And make you absolutely oblivious to how the female body works.

 **Richie** : Why would I care about how it works when you’re only the only female I talk to?

 **Beverly** : You know…I don’t have a good comeback for that because it’s true.

 **Richie** : Well, you’re the only female I would want to talk to anyway.

 **Beverly** : This is just your sweet way of saying your scared of all other females.

 **Richie** : They get to have multiple orgasms, Bev. Those people hold too much power.

 **Beverly** : Aw, you listened…

***

[The Losers Take The Best Friends Test]

 **Richie** : What restaurant/fast food joint am I banned from?

 **Ben** : Uh…F—

 **Beverly** : Olive Garden!

 **Richie** : Correct!

 **Eddie** : Excuse me, what?

 **Stan** : I can’t say I’m surprised.

 **Beverly** : Rich and I went to Olive Garden to hop on that unlimited breadsticks deal only to be kicked out and banned after our 32nd basket of breadsticks.

 **Richie** : I’m just saying that if they say that they’re gonna give us unlimited breadsticks then they should’ve given us unlimited breadsticks.

 **Mike** : I don’t think those words should’ve been taken to heart, Rich.

 **Richie** : If I can’t believe in Olive Garden advertising then what am I supposed to believe in?

***

[Richie and Bill Answer The Web’s Most Searched Questions on WIRED]

[Richie peels off the scarp to reveal ‘Is Richie Tozier kiss Beverly Marsh’]

 **Bill** : Yes, all the time.

 **Richie** : He’s exaggerating. Bev and I only kiss when the moment is special.

 **Bill** : Just fucking yesterday you kissed her when she gave you a coupon to Target.

 **Richie** : Bill, a Target coupon is basically the platonic gift equivalent of a diamond ring.

 **Bill** : It had $5 on it.

 **Richie** : You’re just jealous cause no one’s lining up to give you a Target coupon.

***

> **Richie Tozier** **✔** **@trashmouthtozier**
> 
> Just watched Stranger Things season 3 and I find myself heavily relating to Robin

> **Beverly Marsh** **✔** **@bevvyboop**
> 
> _replying to @trashmouthtozier_
> 
> Does this make me the Steve to your Robin?

> **Richie Tozier** **✔** **@trashmouthtozier**
> 
> _replying to @trashmouthtozier @bevvyboop_
> 
> I would want no one else <3

> **Eddie Kaspbarak @dontcallme_eds**
> 
> _replying to @trashmouthtozier @bevvyboop @trashmouthtozier_
> 
> Get a fucking room

***

[Eddie’s Instagram Story]

[Beverly and Richie are watching Barry and are aggressively booing every time Bill Hader comes on screen]

 **Richie** : [throws popcorn at TV] Boo! The only thing you’re killing is your acting career!

 **Beverly** : Bring NoHo Hank back on screen!

 **Stan** : [offscreen] You guy are aware that Bill Hader is the main actor for this show, right?

***

[Ben’s Instagram Page]

*candid picture of Beverly and Richie asleep in a bathtub with a half-empty bottle of vodka and a pot full of spaghetti on the floor*

 **caption:** if you and your friends aren’t at this level of friendship then you should just quit now

***

[Bill’s Instagram Livestream with Ben, Mike, Stan, and Eddie]

 **Eddie** : …Richie and Bev just came in singing Dancing Queen from Mamma Mia, and now they’re asleep in my bedroom.

 **Stan** : It’s not the first time this has happened, and I can guarantee I won’t be the last.

 **Bill** : The thing with Rich and Bev getting drunk together is that it’s never one thing. First, it’s the hunger, then it’s the waterworks, then it’s hate-watching Barry, then it’s hunger again, and then it’s them laughing at nothing until they fall asleep.

 **Ben** : We’ve been over this so many times it’s basically a second nature.

 **Mike** : And the minute both of them wake up they’re gonna want their hangover snack which is celery sticks covered in frosting.

 **Eddie** : Yeah, the reason none of us are ever going to have children is because Bev and Rich are already fulfilling that role.

***

[Ben’s Instagram Story]

[Beverly is crying loudly while Richie is consolingly patting her back]

 **Beverly** : [sobbing] And I don’t think my hair will ever be as red as Emma Stone’s.

 **Richie** : Honey, no one’s hair is every going to as red as Emma Stone’s, it’s just a known fact.

 **Beverly** : Does my hair at least come in second?

 **Richie** : Yes, of course it does.

 **Beverly** : That’s all I wanted to hear.

 **Richie** : [gives her a hug] I would pick your hair over Emma’s any day of the year.

 **Beverly** : That’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me.

***

> **Becca Rupert @becsovertimecheck**
> 
> The friendship goals Mom said you had at home vs.
> 
> *linked YouTube video called Beverly Marsh and Richie Tozier messing around during interviews for 17 minutes straight*

> **Richie Tozier** **✔** **@trashmouthtozier**
> 
> _replying to @becsovertimecheck_
> 
> The fact that this video is 17 minutes long speaks miles about how much Bev and I actually care about interviews

> **Beverly Marsh** **✔** **@bevvyboop**
> 
> _replying to @becsovertimecheck @trashmouthtozier_
> 
> We actually only go to interviews just show off our friendship

> **Stan Uris @stanthemanuris**
> 
> _replying to @becsovertimecheck @trashmouthtozier @bevvyboop_
> 
> See, people will think this is a joke when in reality it’s really not

***

[Richie’s Instagram Livestream]

[Richie and Beverly are in Richie’s kitchen eating celery sticks with frosting]

 **Richie** : …we may be utter dumbasses, but at least we’re dumbasses together.

 **Beverly** : We have matching puka shell anklets where mine say ‘dumb’ and his says ‘ass’.

 **Richie** : A lot of people get the wrong idea when they see it—well, actually maybe it’s the right idea.

 **Beverly** : Let’s show them our anklets.

 **Richie** : Bev, if we do that tons of people are going to jerk off to images of out feet. There’s a whole audience who would love a peek of my ankles.

 **Beverly** : Shit, you’re right. But you do have really nice ankles.

 **Richie** : I know.

 **Stan** : [offscreen] Every time you guys open your mouths I question if this real life.

 **Richie** : Stan’s a little cranky cause his ankles suck.

 **Beverly** : [laughs manically]

 **Richie** : See, I got one out of you.

 **Beverly** : [still laughing] Richie gets off a good one!

 **Richie** : I—alright…I’ll let you have that one.

**Thanks For Watching**

**Comments:**

**Stobin Solidarity:**

Richie and Beverly have 1 collective braincell that is just passed between them constantly

_1.5k likes_

**Gina Lass:**

Ben and Eddie talking about Beverly and Richie’s friendship is honestly the most wholesome thing ever

_3.1k likes_

**I’ll See You At The Movies:**

The way the rest of the Losers react when Richie and Beverly do something stupid is just gold

_2.9k likes_

**Ross Taylorr:**

The Losers vs. Bill Hader Feud continues!

_2.6k likes_

**Genevieve Lorain-Fawcett:**

Stan’s sassy asides are honestly the best thing about this video

_5.8k likes_

**Beverly Marsh Is My Dad:**

Ben: *is about to say something*

Other Loser: let me stop you right there

_3.9k likes_

**Cigarette Stains:**

I want Bev and Rich to sing the whole Mamma Mia soundtrack—that’s it

_1.8k likes_

**Nikki Lloyd:**

The fact that Beverly and Richie have matching puka shell anklets is the frosting on their friendship cake

_4.9k likes_

**Ronnie and Teddie Shipper:**

We need a commentary track of Beverly and Richie hate-watching Barry. Could you imagine the chaotic energy?

_956 likes_

**Author's Note:**

> comment, kudos, send suggestions--just do all the stuff so that i can feel validated enough to continue this series. yes, im that petty.


End file.
